I’ve spent the last two months praying and debating in my mind about this blog. Two months doesn’t seem like a long time, but its been the longest two months of yearning to share something I’ve ever experienced. Can I just be honest with you? I went back and forth, trying to shrug this desire off, blaming it on selfish ambition, or a natural desire to be heard from anyone with no real fruit coming out of it. That right there was my biggest problem. Doing this for seemingly no reason, with no fruit coming out of it…what a total waste of valuable time that would be. This yearning never let up and it seems like everywhere I turn I’m hearing the same thing, TELL SOMEBODY. So, I’m gonna step out on faith; faith that I am supposed to be doing this and if I’m not, faith the God will turn it around into a personal journal or something, or maybe nothing at all. Either way, I said all this for the sake of a starting point.
I’ve reached a spiritual turning point in my life. I’m not even going to question why this didn’t happen sooner because I sort of know the answer to that in my heart. Be it for the sake of more human experience, natural maturity, or plain stubbornness on my part, God knew the right moment. I used to promote the latest spiritual ministry I had been involved in that God used to bring me some breakthrough in my life, but I am careful to not lift up the ministry more than the God of Power behind the ministry. With that being said, this turning point came, little by little, during the week after a deliverance ministry session.
This is one of my personal journals from that week. Next time I blog, I will go into more detail:
“Washed in the blood of the Lamb”
Coming home from a friend’s house,* I felt so light and so overwhelmed by the Spirit. When I had just passed the airport, God dropped something from my head to my heart. “I put you in the POSITION to walk under GRACE, I don’t expect you to get everything right.” He didn’t EXPECT me to live a perfect “Christian” life! At that moment I understood that’s why “there is NO condemnation for those who are IN Christ Jesus,” (Romans 8:1) because they are in that position to walk under grace and NOT under “law.”
What a revelation… And now I’m sitting here watching Pastor Melissa Scott preach on that VERY thing, from the book of Galatians. Isn’t God so wonderful? So concerned with me that He would drive this point home so obviously?!
After my ministry session, I struggled, being attacked in my mind and arguing with my husband for the entire week. But I knew something had changed spiritually. It is snow balling. Its like a thin plastic bag filled with water and someone pokes a tiny hole in it. Eventually that hole starts to stretch, letting more and more water flow until it finally rips open, gushing water everywhere. Today was such a taste of freedom for me. And for the first time, I understood what it was like to have peace in the midst of a storm.
I was confronted with obeying the scriptures about being a wife, specifically 1 Peter 3:1-7, winning my husband without a word. This is such a battle for me but God’s grace is sufficient. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Surprisingly enough, we had the perfect afternoon, Rick and I. We cooked dinner, ate, played a game with our kids and exercised! The Lord is awesome when you serve Him. No, the Lord is ALWAYS awesome. You just reap the benefits and blessings and see the fruit of it when you serve Him.
The yoke and burden of trying to live for God is so heavy because God did not give the law because He thought we could live up to it. He gave the law to prove to us that we COULDN’T live up to it. So that we would turn to Jesus, God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness and salvation on the cross. Doing good things or acts of service or trying to be a Christian in the hopes of “getting to heaven” or “being a good enough Christian” completely does away with what Jesus did on the cross. If we live by the “law” instead of faith, we nullify the grace of God.
I believe now that the reason this foundational truth didn’t get to my spirit, was because of the demonic junk and strongholds that were in its place. Now that the junk is gone, it has good soil to take root in.
Things to remember:
Grace and peace-through Jesus’ death and resurrection.
In Christ- if we’re NOT in Christ and instead are in sin, willfully sinning, there is no peace and God’s grace isn’t applied cause its not received or asked for. If there’s a stronghold, it can’t be seen.
The ones that are so low, societies rejects, the ones in distress and despair, are the ones that KNOW they need the Lord. That’s why we should be thankful for our trials. We’re in that state of humility, our proper place, before God.